i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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