We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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