Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
