he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
