Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I wear drunk well.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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