***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
