shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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