My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize