I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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