Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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