Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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