wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
