We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize