As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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