i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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