that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
