found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need a beard to bite.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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