Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
