The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
