apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You dont lie about slip and slides
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize