i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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