She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
