Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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