just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
