i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
