He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
