why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
