i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
