I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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