hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I supernannyed him into submission
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
