Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
