I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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