I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
