life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My Sexting was not on an AP level
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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