I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
