Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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