we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
