Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
