my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
