Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
