There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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