The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
