I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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