How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
They took my balls.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
