you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You work out of a Hotel?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
