Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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