We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
