Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
