Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
