the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
