no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
