Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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