I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This toilet bowl is my home.
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