Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
