I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You've changed since you got that strap on
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize