Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
