But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
