my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
