Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
