so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize