at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The air was thick with penises
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
