Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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