the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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