it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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