doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
