All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
