If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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