.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
