Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Someone signed my nipple.
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