yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
