She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
