There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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