sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
