My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
