dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
