I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize